Marriage is...

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I was talking to a friend the other day about marriage. She's newly-wed just a few days in and well... you know how it is when you're newly married... you want to read all the marriage books recommended to you and absorb all the information you need to make a happy marriage. So, you do exactly that... which is great by the way...I highly advocate for it. But, I have found that, yes..you may read all the literature you can get your hands on but the practice of it is a whole other ball game. And do you know why? Because life is messy. Real life doesn't play by the rules sometimes. So what do you need to do? You need to find what works for you. What works for my marriage, might not work for yours.

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Let me talk about something else close to my heart... Pre-marital Counselling Class (PMCC). Now, this is literally the most important thing you will ever do for your marriage...period! Hubby and I went through 3 months (10-one day weekly sessions) of intense PMCC...and if we didn't know it then, we know it now...that that was all the preparation we needed for marriage! PMCC was the push we needed for our marriage because now...what we decided to do is become intentional in our marriage..just like we were taught.

Intentionality is an interesting concept.. because you cannot at all become intentional in marriage without actually being in communication with one another. You have to communicate intentionally to your spouse and vice versa. And most times, it works both ways because lets face it..if its just you being intentional without your spouse reciprocating, then you will feel like you're the only one trying in the marriage..a dangerous precedent. So, I highly advocate for intentionality in marriage.. its really the very best thing.

One last thing... prayer in marriage works. We used to have a motto in PMCC.. "work on me, pray for them". Which simply means that you as a spouse should work on yourself... don't try to work on your spouse because that's not how it works...the best you can do is pray for them. That's it!

And lastly, 3 things I have learnt in my 8-month journey (actually today) is:

1. Communication..and effective communication at that is the key to a good marriage.

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2. Always be intentional in your marriage... both of you should be intentional.
3. Pray for and in your marriage.


So marriage is... Communication, Intentionality and Prayer!


Love, SL