50 very honest lessons about marriage after 5 years 5 months
Marriages are supposed to be happily ever after.. right? Wrong! This is an unrealistic expectation that people place on marriage which usually ends up in disappointment. And placing so much pressure on your marriage to make it work doesn't actually help. So.. what should you do to maintain a healthy marriage? First by acknowledging that you can't do it alone and secondly, accepting each other as you are. The first rule of premarital counselling is "work on me...pray for them." You cannot change your spouse and you shouldn't want to. Marriage is realistically hard but can also be a beautiful journey if you just let go and let God. So, after 5 years and 5 months in marriage.. here is what I have learnt:
2. Being intentional in your marriage is a choice.
3. Making time for each other is crucial and is easier said than done.
4. You can love your spouse but not like them sometimes.
5. Love matters but respect and compassion more.
6. One person always does more in the relationship than the other at any one time.
7. You can get really really mad at your spouse.
8. You will sometimes feel lonely.
9. Don't lose yourself in marriage. Fill your cup first.
10. The things you want in your marriage might be different to the things you need.
11. You will make a lot of mistakes.
12. You will hurt your spouse.
13. Sometimes your spouse will feel like a stranger.
14. You will laugh but also cry.
15. Your love for each other diversifies with time.
16. Your love languages can be easily misinterpreted and miscalculated.
17. But they can also bring you closer together.
18. You often don't say the right things at the right time.
19. You will talk back more than is necessary.
20. You will be mean.
21. The things you learnt during premarital counselling always come in handy during a fight.
22. Oh yes.. you will fight.
23. You can easily lose control but you should always try to get back on track.
24. Your spouse is your world but peace of mind is everything.
25. You will need to forgive yourself a lot as well as your spouse.
26. You will have the temptation to go through your spouse's phone more times than you can admit to yourself.
27. Saying sorry is so hard.
28. Praying together only works if you both think its important.
29. Your spouse will make decisions that you don't agree with at all.
30. Wisdom comes from God. Period.
31. You can be compatible but your personalities will often clash.
32. You can easily forget to date your spouse.
33. Intimacy doesn't start in the bedroom.
34. You will realize new things about yourself and sometimes you won't like it.
35. Sex gets better.
36. Compromise is the key to a sane marriage.
37. You may feel lost sometimes.
38. You will want to give up and give in.
39. When that happens, remember why you chose each other.
40. Things always look better in the morning.
41. You should love your spouse all of the time especially when its hard to.
42. Give each other grace.
43. Choose your battles. Some things aren't worth fighting for.
44. Your kids are the third party in your marriage.
45. They should enrich your marriage, not stretch it thin.
46. Talk about the hard things.
47. Your families come second no matter what.
48. Three's a crowd. Don't make room for doubt.
49. Choose each other always.
50. And hopefully... love conquers all.
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